Sorting in Minas Tirith
by Mirlasse
Summary: After the War of the Ring, the Sorting Hat mysteriously appears in Minas Tirith. Many characters - both favorites and not-so-favorites - are Sorted. Bookverse for characters, but very, very AU. Hope you enjoy! Complete - for now.
1. Prologue (and Pippin)

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Tolkien's or Rowling' song is taken from _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. _

AU.

Note: I'm going to attempt to Sort many characters from The Lord of the Rings in this. This is really an exercise in characterization for me, so constructive criticism and reviews are much appreciated. But remember, the four houses are not perfect. I had a lot of trouble sorting certain people. I'm struggling to find a way to put this, but this is something for fun, not to be taken too seriously. I don't think I will hold to these Sortings later on. Later I may put someone in Gryffindor, whereas I first put them into Slytherin. And I don't intend for you to absolutely 100 percent agree with this. There is a lot more greyness than the Sorting Hat allows for. So, this is not perfect and shall never be. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy my attempt!

* * *

"Hey, Frodo!"

Frodo turned and looked at the hobbit running as fast as he could towards Frodo. When he reached Frodo he was breathing heavily and plumped down on the bench next to Frodo. When he regained his breath he spoke.

"Frodo, the King wants you and everyone to come up to the White Tower. It's important. Please?"

Frodo put aside the book he had borrowed from Minas Tirith's library and stood up. As he walked alongside the younger hobbit he questioned him.

"Do you know why this sudden meeting, Pippin?"

"I don't know. They were talking and suddenly Gandalf came storming out of the hall and told me to find you and tell you that Aragorn wants you. There's something important going on."

"Oh. I wonder why."

They walked swiftly - for hobbits - up the ramp and into the Citadel. As they walked through the doors into the Tower Hall, they could see that everyone was there. Gandalf, Aragorn, Faramir and Eowyn, Denethor, Boromir, Beregond, Eomer, Theoden, Elrond, Elladan and Elrohir, Arwen, and many more friends and acquaintances, who had helped defeat Sauron. Just then Merry and Sam came running up to them.

"What's going on?" Pippin asked the two.

"Apparently Gandalf found something, and he needs to tell us about it."

They had no chance for further word before the hobbits were ushered into small, hobbit-size chairs. "Wow," whispered Merry. "Wonder when these were carved." But just then Aragorn stood up.

"Friends of Gondor, you have been summoned here today to help answer a grave question. No more than twenty minutes ago, a very curious object appeared in our midst. This object appears to have the ability to -" he paused a second "- Sort." The last word was clearly pronounced with a capital S.

There was a pause, in which whispers filled the hall. "What's he mean?" Sam asked, with a look of bewilderment.

Then Gandalf stood up. "This object's name, it appears, is the Sorting Hat."

Even more whispering filled the hall. "What is a Sorting Hat? This has got to be a joke. Does he seriously think I know about it?"

"Silence!" Gandalf thundered. "Please be quiet and take a look." He gestured to the middle of the floor. There was a small stool there, which no one seemed to have noticed before, and there seemed to be a random piece of cloth, much worn and torn. Everyone stared at it. Then suddenly, the cloth leaped up, formed itself into a hat, and began to sing.

_Oh you may not think I'm pretty,_

_But don't judge on what you see,_

_I'll eat myself if you can find_

_A smarter hat than me._

_You can keep your bowlers black,_

_Your top hats sleek and tall,_

_For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat_

_And I can cap them all._

_There's nothing hidden in your head_

_The Sorting Hat can't see,_

_So try me on and I will tell you_

_Where you ought to be._

_You might belong in Gryffindor,_

_Where dwell the brave at heart,_

_Their daring, nerve, and chivalry_

_Set Gryffindors apart;_

_You might belong in Hufflepuff,_

_Where they are just and loyal,_

_Those patient Hufflepuffs are true_

_And unafraid of toil;_

_Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,_

_if you've a ready mind,_

_Where those of wit and learning,_

_Will always find their kind;_

_Or perhaps in Slytherin_

_You'll make your real friends,_

_Those cunning folks use any means_

_To achieve their ends._

_So put me on! Don't be afraid!_

_And don't get in a flap!_

_You're in safe hands (though I have none)_

_For I'm a Thinking Cap!_

The hat fell back onto the stool and was quiet. There was a dead silence, gradually being broken by whispers and mutters. Everyone was eyeing the hat uncomfortably.

"Yes, that is the Sorting Hat. We shall be trying it on, today. Yes, each and every one of you." Gandalf then launched into an explanation.

"There are Four Houses, Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor. The hat shall sort you into one of these houses. Hufflepuff is the house of the loyal and those that value friendship, Slytherin, the place of the ambitious and cunning, Ravenclaw, those that desire knowledge, and Gryffindor is the house of the courageous people."

"What happens if you are none of those?"

"Then… most likely the hat will place you into Hufflepuff."

"Is it Elf-magic?" This one came from Sam.

"No indeed. It is a magic not from this world, in fact."

Gasps echoed around the hall. "Yes, there are other worlds besides this one, Arda. This hat came through a portal from another world."

"Why? What is it for?"

"Why, my young Pippin, it is for fun! The war against Sauron is ended! His evil shall no more take hold upon the earth. Why shouldn't we?"

Everyone stared at the wizard. He was… grinning?

"Well, that sounds like a good reason." said Pippin.

"A very good reason indeed. Do you want to go first?"

Pippin spluttered. "Um…"

"Very well, Peregrin Took shall be our first participant! Come up please!"

Merry pushed Pippin, who slowly walked towards Gandalf, who was standing next to the stool. Once he reached Gandalf he looked up.

"What do I do?"

Gandalf lifted the hat off the stool and gestured to it. "Sit down."

Pippin did so, nervously. And Gandalf plopped the hat on top of him.

* * *

The first thing Pippin did was blink. The hat's brim had fallen over his eyes, preventing him from seeing. And then he nearly jumped out of his skin.

"_Hmmm… you don't seek knowledge, so you are most definitely not Ravenclaw, and you are loyal to your friends and the Shire, so you do have the potential for Hufflepuff, but then you're courageous, no doubt, joining Frodo on the Quest, and overcoming your fear in saving Faramir, and very reckless - perfect for_ GRYFFINDOR!"

The hat was suddenly taken off Pippin, who promptly fell off the stool.

"Wha.. what happened?"

Gandalf lifted Pippin onto his hat, holding the hat in one hand. "The hat just sorted you, into Gryffindor. It talked to you, inside your head, so it could see which House to put you in, and then it shouted the name of the House to us. So take this and go sit down." Gandalf held out a red and gold ribbon to Pippin, who took it with awe. He strolled back to his seat, glancing at the hat over his shoulder apprehensively. He sat down and admired the ribbon.

"What did the hat say?" asked Sam. But Pippin never got a chance, for Gandalf was calling out a name from a list.

"Meriadoc Brandybuck!"

* * *

So it begins!

More characters are going to be Sorted, of course!

Please review!


	2. Merry

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Tolkien's or Rowling's.

* * *

Merry stood up and walked to the hat. If he was nervous, he did not show any sign of it. He sat down on the stool and braced himself as Gandalf put the hat on him.

"_Well, well, well, young master Merry, you are an intelligent hobbit. You think ahead and plan out. However, you don't seek knowledge, in the way Ravenclaws do, and you are indeed courageous and loyal to your friends, as when you stabbed the Witch-king, but your sharpness and the way you spied on Bilbo and Frodo about the Ring shows that you are a true…_ SLYTHERIN!"

The sound of clapping reached his ears, and the hat was lifted off Merry. Gandalf presented him with a silver and green ribbon and pushed off. He rejoined the other hobbits.

"Well, Pippin a Gryffindor and Merry a Slytherin. I wonder whether we shall all be representative of a different house," commented Frodo.

"I don't think so, mister Frodo, I'm going to be in the same house as you." said Sam.

Frodo smiled at this. "We shall see, Sam, we shall see." The next moment, he stood up as Gandalf called his name.

* * *

I forgot to say, the first was a very long chapter. The next chapters will be short, like this one, and then a long one for an epilogue.

Question: Was this surprising? I myself was surprised when I had thought it through...

Please review!


	3. Frodo

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Tolkien's or Rowling's.

* * *

As Gandalf slipped the hat over Frodo's pointed ears he felt a misgiving. What house would he be? Considering himself, he thought that he was a mixture of all four. What would the hat say? Could it be wrong?

"_Now, you're a tough choice. Hints of Ravenclaw… bits of Hufflepuff… whiffs of Gryffindor. Slytherin is your least likely choice. You desire peace and safety, and you have barely any ambition. But Ravenclaw… you are very curious about the Elves and their language and culture, and you like to learn. Good, good… but Gryffindor… you were brave and courageous to take the Ring into Mordor, leaving all your comforts behind. Yet I think, because of your deep loyalty to the Shire and the side of Good, and your justice with Gollum you belong to…_ HUFFLEPUFF!"

The hat was taken off, and Frodo stood up to applause. Gandalf ceremoniously handed him a ebony and yellow ribbon. Frodo glanced at it and thanked Gandalf. Everyone was cheering, and some were yelling "Hail Frodo of the Nine Fingers!" It was only when he got back to his seat that he looked again at the ribbon.

The colors were black and gold. Black… Frodo didn't like this. It reminded him too much of Mordor… and the Ring. He started to shiver and threw the ribbon away from him. But no one noticed except Sam.

"Why, mister Frodo…" But he was cut off as "Samwise Gamgee" reverberated through the room.

* * *

Needless to say, this and Merry's were pretty tough.

What do you think? Does this make sense?


	4. Sam

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Tolkien's or Rowling's.

* * *

Sam nervously walked up to Gandalf. He sat down, trembling, and the hat was placed on his head, covering his eyes so that he couldn't see. Despite Pippin's warnings, the hat's sudden voice scared him.

"_Samwise Gamgee. Not Slytherin. Not Ravenclaw. Hufflepuff would be a good choice. You are certainly loyal enough, and true. But Gryffindor would be a good choice, too. You are brave and courageous enough to follow Frodo into Mordor… Hmmm… Gryffindor would…_"

"Hufflepuff, Hufflepuff," Sam thought desperately in his head. To his surprise it seemed to hear him.

"_Hufflepuff… yes, Sam, that would be good… your courage came from loyalty to Frodo, really, so, yes… definitely_ HUFFLEPUFF!"

Sam breathed a sigh of relief. He was in the same house as Mister Frodo! He hardly noticed the cheers or the ribbon that Gandalf held out to him. He nearly walked away with it, and grabbed it at the last moment. When he reached his seat, he bent down in front of Frodo.

"See, mister Frodo, I'm in Hufflepuff, too."

Frodo did not respond. Sam tried again.  
"Mister Frodo?"

Frodo seemed to wake.

"Yes, Sam, I'm fine."

And then the name of Gimli was called.

* * *

Yeah, this one wasn't hard.

Please review! It makes my day to see a review!


	5. Gimli

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Tolkien's or Rowling's (though I wish I did.)

* * *

Gimli stomped up to Gandalf, who put the hat on him. Gimli waited for the hat to speak, but instead, he heard nothing. And nothing. And nothing.

"This hat is not speaking!" he growled suddenly.

The hat was pulled off suddenly. "Pardon me, Gimli son of Gloin, but I believe that the helmet of Dwarf-make has hindered the hat."

Gimli grudgingly took off his helmet, and Gandalf replaced the hat on his head.

"_Gimli son of Gloin. You are neither sly, nor do you seek knowledge. You are loyal, but your courage far exceeds it… definitely and without a doubt…_ GRYFFINDOR!"

Gimli was handed a red and gold ribbon as the hat was pulled off. Making sure he had his helmet, he marched back to his seat. As he sat down "Legolas Greenleaf!" was called.

* * *

That wasn't hard, either.

Please review? Please?


	6. Legolas

I'm trying not to be biased here, I've never liked Legolas.

* * *

Legolas sat down gracefully, and Gandalf pulled the hat on him.

"Hello hat," he thought.

"_Well, the first to greet me! Thank you for that… and you do seek knowledge, indeed. You have ambition, yes, that is true. However you are not sly, and you are rather brave. You are an Elf, so naturally you are not afraid of most things that scare Men. Loyalty you do not possess that much. You are a hard choice. Hmmmm... but your most likely bet is Ravenclaw. You have always wanted to learn more about the world, so that is why you came to the Council of Elrond eagerly at your father's bidding. Yes, better be…_ RAVENCLAW!"

Legolas took off the hat to wild cheers from some young girls of Minas Tirith. They were all whispering to themselves, hoping they would be in Ravenclaw, too. With a blue and bronze ribbon Legolas went back to his seat.

"Next is… Boromir!"

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Reviews are greatly appreciated!


	7. Boromir

I don't own anything, though I wish I did...

* * *

The heavy tread of Boromir echoed throughout the hall, as he walked up proudly to the stool. He sat down and the hat was pulled off him.

"_Hmm… this one is the easiest of all… courageous… saving the hobbits… definitely a_ GRYFFINDOR!"

As Boromir took the red and gold ribbon Merry leaned over to Pippin.

"That one wasn't hard, was it? He was the quickest!"

"Yes, he's Gryffindor, too! I am honored to be of the same house as he."

"Wow, that was quite a statement. Didn't expect it of you, Pip."

And then "Faramir" echoed throughout the hall.

* * *

I seriously doubt anyone disagrees on this.


	8. Faramir

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Tolkien's or Rowling's.

* * *

The hat was placed on Faramir. He waited, seemingly casually. And then the hat spoke to him.

"_Hmmm… tougher than your brother, definitely. You lack ambition, so not Slytherin. You are loyal, but you overrode loyalty in a sense of what's right with the Ring. You are definitely brave and courageous. However, your love of learning and seeking of knowledge definitely overrides that…_ RAVENCLAW!"

The blue and bronze ribbon was presented, and Faramir went back to his seat, beside Eowyn.

And then his father's name was called.

"Denethor!"

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As of this writing, 562 hits. 1 review.

Need I say more?

Please, please review!

Or else...


	9. Denethor

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, sadly.

* * *

The Steward of Gondor, who had miraculously survived his attempted suicide, by conveniently falling into a pond when he had fallen in flame, marched up proudly. He regally sat down and the hat was pulled over him.

"Y_ou seek knowledge, that is sure, and your use of the palantir in seeking knowledge is most Ravenclaw, but your ambition and proudness show a Slytherin disposition. You desired power. So yes, I think._.. SLYTHERIN!"

Gandalf was about to pull the hat off when suddenly flame spewed out of the hat. Denethor gave a cry and flame enveloped him. He ran, without the hat, and out the doors. Everyone could see him running out. And when he finally threw himself off the Citadel, everyone, but most notably Faramir and Aragorn, gave sighs of relief.

Gandalf recalled everyone's attention. "Eowyn!"

* * *

I couldn't resist it after PythonAnon gave me the idea. Thanks, PythonAnon!


	10. Eowyn

Disclaimer: Most unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), I do not own anything...

* * *

Eowyn, Shieldmaiden of Rohan, stepped up. She sat down as Gandalf placed the Hat on her head.

"_You are not a hard choice. You have great courage, Eowyn daughter of Eomund. Your loyalty is great, attempting to save Theoden, but you disobeyed him in traveling to Minas Tirith. Your courage in the face of death and bravery is yes, definitely_ GRYFFINDOR!"

Amid claps and cheers Gandalf handed her a red and gold ribbon. Eowyn went back down to sit next to Faramir.

"Next is... Eomer!"

* * *

Sorry this has taken so long! I have been very busy lately...


	11. Eomer

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Tolkien or Rowling's...

* * *

Eomer was next after Eowyn.

"_You are very brave, Eomer son of Eomund. But your bravery in the face of battle was due to unwavering loyalty to Theoden and Rohan. But I think your braveness exceeds that. I really do think…_ GRYFFINDOR!"

Eomer received a customary red and gold ribbon. He looked slightly disappointed. Eowyn chuckled quietly.

"I think he wanted the green ribbon," she whispered to Faramir, who also grinned.

"But he is not the conniving type."

Then "Theoden" reverbrated throughout the hall.

* * *

I'm noticing that as I write this, the chapters are shorter and shorter. This is not serious, just something for fun!


	12. Theoden

Disclaimer: I don't own Tolkien or Rowling, as you surely ought to know by this point.

* * *

"Theoden!"

The King of Rohan stood up. He had narrowly avoided death by the jaws of the Witch-king's fell beast by the courage of Eowyn, his niece, Merry, and the skill of Aragorn. He sat down, and the hat was placed on his head.

"_You are definitely brave and courageous, and your courage comes from deepest loyalty to the best of Rohan. You followed Gandalf's advice. But your answering to the call of Gondor for Minas Tirith, at the near loss of your life is most surely_ GRYFFINDOR!"

Applause echoed around the hall as Theoden took his seat.

"Grima Wormtongue!"

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Please review!


	13. Grima Wormtongue

Disclaimer: As usual. You can tell I finally got tired of writing the disclaimer.

* * *

"Grima Wormtongue!"

Grima Wormtongue shuffled forward and sat down. Everyone looked at him curiously. Gandalf placed the Sorting Hat on Grima's head.

"_You have barely any loyalty to Rohan. Yet some remains. You are not Hufflepuff, nor Ravenclaw. Gryffindor might work. You showed courage in daring to kill Saruman, and disobeying him, but you were too cowardly to accept Theoden's offer of a new life. No, your ambition, cunning, and your willingness to betray Theoden show that you are truly_ SLYTHERIN!"

A few scattered claps rang out, but were quickly stifled. Grima tiredly went back to his seat as "Saruman" was called.

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Review! Please! Thank you!


	14. Saruman

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of the amazing Tolkien's or Rowling's works.

* * *

"Saruman!"

Saruman, known as the Wise, haughtily stepped forward. When Gandalf moved to place the hat upon his head, Saruman instead snatched the hat from Gandalf and placed it on his head himself.

"_Your name means 'The Cunning', and you definitely are ambitious and would not hesitate to drop a friend… yet you sought to bring a friend with you to the Dark Side. You are called the Wise, a seeker of knowledge indeed… and it was indeed your thirst for knowledge that led you to find out more about the Rings, and then begin to desire the One Ring… yes, indeed a _RAVENCLAW!"

He stood and walked, dignified and tall, back to his seat, next to Grima.

"The Lady Galadriel!"

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Please review!

By the way, take my poll on my profile! It's for use in a story!


	15. Galadriel

Disclaimer: Refer to the chapter before this for the disclaimer.

* * *

The Lady Galadriel stepped forward. Tall, seeming to shine with white light, all stared at her. Then the Sorting Hat was placed on her head.

"_You are of the Wise, and you like to learn… Ravenclaw, almost, but you have pride, ambition, and you desire power. You wanted open lands to be yours to rule, instead of being 'trapped' in a narrow place. Even so, you passed the test of the One Ring. But yes, most definitely_ SLYTHERIN!"

Claps followed the Sorting Hat's announcement and the Lady Galadriel sat down, as "Celeborn" was called.


	16. Celeborn

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, as you should know by now.

* * *

The Lord of the Galadhrim stepped forth.

"_You are not ambitious, so you are most definitely not Slytherin, unlike your wife. Hufflepuff… you are loyal, indeed. Gryffindor… maybe… but Ravenclaw! Yes, you seek knowledge, and you are called the Wise… so, yes, _RAVENCLAW!"

A customary blue and bronze ribbon was given to Celeborn, and he returned to his seat.

"Lord Elrond!"

* * *

I'm trying to finish the next chapter of "Forgiveness", so please be patient if this takes a backseat...


	17. Elrond

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Pity.

* * *

Elrond Peredhel came up and sat with the grace of Elves. Gandalf placed the hat on his dark head.

"_You are not lacking in courage. But your bravery is outweighed by your love of learning. You are loyal to the Elves, but you sought a quest for knowledge. You are studious, a learner and scholar. Quite easy_… RAVENCLAW!"

Elrond was given a blue and bronze ribbon, and returned to his seat.

"Lord Glorfindel!"

* * *

Sorry for taking ages on this! RL got in the way, with consequences. And chapters for Forgiveness and a new story are on the way!


	18. Glorfindel

Disclaimer: Refer to the preceding chapter.

* * *

Glorfindel strode up and the hat was placed on his golden head.

"_Hmmm… another Elf… you killed a Balrog? Impressive… and you volunteered to search for Frodo, and gave your horse to him, very good, seeing as you love your horses… and killing the Balrog was most courageous. Challenging it to single combat to keep it away from the women and children? Yes, your daring - not least when taking care of the twins -, nerve, and chivalry show that there's no doubt about this… you are_ GRYFFINDOR!"

He was handed a gold and red ribbon, and Glorfindel went back to his seat.

"Erestor!"

* * *

Request: Please vote on my poll!


	19. Erestor

Disclaimer: Refer to the preceding chapter of the preceding chapter.

* * *

The councilor of Elrond stepped forth.

"_You are the advisor of Elrond, and you are also the librarian. You are studious and also hardworking, with an occasional bout of bravery. But your intelligence and love of knowledge exceeds that. Without a doubt_… RAVENCLAW!"

Erestor quickly returned to his seat, as "Elladan" was summoned.

* * *

Three chapters posted in a row? I know, amazing, right?


	20. Elladan

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Tolkien's or Rowling's.

* * *

The son of Elrond walked up to the seat, and Gandalf placed the hat on his head.

"_The son of Elrond, of Ravenclaw. Hmmm. You were very brave in rescuing your mother from the Orcs, and you are brave to the point of heedlessness when chasing after Orcs, in revenge. You tend to rush into situations without sizing them up. Yes, that is the mark of a…_ GRYFFINDOR!"

Elladan returned with a grin to his seat, while his twin was called. "Elrohir!"

* * *

Thanks to all who voted on my poll! I have a new question, so please go to my profile and answer it!

And please, please review!


	21. Elrohir

Disclaimer: You know this! (I wondered how long I was going to hold out until I said that.)

* * *

Elrohir stepped forward, and the hat was placed on his head.

"_You are also very brave, but you are more thoughtful and more wary of danger than your brother Elladan. You tend to think things through more, not rush into dangerous situations. And you pursue knowledge and treasure it. Yes, a_ RAVENCLAW!"

Elrohir received a blue and bronze ribbon, and went back to his seat.

"Haldir!"

* * *

Were you surprised at Elrohir not being in Gryffindor like Elladan? I characterize the twins slightly differently.


	22. Haldir

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Tolkien's or Rowling's, obviously.

* * *

The Marchwarden of Lorien, who had narrowly missed death in the battles on the borders of Lothlorien, walked forth. The grey hat was placed on his head.

"_You are brave, indeed, but your braveness comes from a love of your home and loyalty to the Lady Galadriel. Loyalty is your strongest aspect… a_ HUFFLEPUFF!"

Haldir, with a gold and black ribbon, went back to his seat, as "Rumil" was called.

* * *

Please, please, please go to my profile and vote on my poll! Very important!

And review as well...


	23. Rumil

Disclaimer: Glorfindel has kindly offered to do this for me...

Glorfindel: Mirlasse does not own anything that belongs to Tolkien or Rowling.

Thanks, Glorfindel!

* * *

A guard of Lothlorien came forth, Rumil the brother of Haldir, and Gandalf placed the hat on his head.

"_You are loyal to Lorien, that is true. But you also are sneaky, to a point, and you like playing tricks on your brothers. You can be cunning as well, and sneaky, and conniving. These things total up to_… SLYTHERIN!"

Rumil received a green and silver ribbon. Then as he went back to his seat his brother "Orophin" was summoned.

* * *

As you can tell, this is not canonical. It's loosely based on a story I read called "Whatsoever You Do" by Dreamstrifer, in which Rumil is sneaky and conniving, and partly of my own characterization. So...

And please, please vote on the poll on my profile page!


	24. Orophin

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, including the incident that happens below.

* * *

Orophin, the brother of Haldir and Rumil, and a guard of Lothlorien, came forth.

"_Out of your brothers, you are perhaps the most thoughtful. You are very loyal to your country, naturally, but you are the one of them who seeks knowledge the most. You are not cunning like Rumil, nor are you loyal to the point of your brother Haldir… I should think a_ RAVENCLAW!"

Just as Orophin took the blue and bronze ribbon, a commotion was heard outside. Everyone turned just in time to see an unearthly red creature stumble in. It rather looked like an Elf. In fact, this was Lindir, but no one had recognized him yet.

Suddenly the crowd heard laughter. It was coming from... Erestor? Everyone, including Lindir, stared at him. Finally he managed a "It's... it's _Lindir_..."

There was silence.

And then Glorfindel looked at Lindir and also began to laugh. Then Lord Elrond laughed. And Celeborn. And the twins...

Soon everyone, including the hobbits and guards, was laughing. Except for Lindir. He was merely looking confused.

Gandalf was choking on his pipe as he called out Lindir's name.

* * *

Yes, that is a reference to the genius Erestor's story "Celeborn's Club". I seriously recommend it, and all of her other stories.

Sorry, Orophin! The spotlight kind of got stolen...

My own characterization, of course.

Oh, and please vote on the poll on my profile page!


	25. Lindir

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Tolkien's or Rowling's.

* * *

Lindir, with a royally confused expression, went up to Gandalf. Gandalf gave a quick summary of what was going on, then as Lindir nodded Gandalf placed the hat on him.

"_You are definitely not Gryffindor, nor are you Ravenclaw. You are not brave, nor do you seek knowledge. Hufflepuff, perhaps, as you do possess somewhat questionable loyalty, and you are a hard character to place, but you are very cunning and nosy at times. You have a noticeable penchant for blackmailing as well, and you are ambitious._ SLYTHERIN!"

Lindir handed the hat back to Gandalf, and got a silver and green ribbon. He returned to his seat, still with red paint on him.

"Treebeard!"

* * *

This is based off of a medley of my characterization, Erestor's characterization, and Lily Lindsey-Aubery's characterization for Lindir.

And please vote on the poll on my profile page... I know I'm starting to sound obsessed, but I seriously need feedback on it!


	26. Treebeard

Disclaimer: Refer to the previous chapter.

* * *

Treebeard came up from where he was standing. Since he was too tall for Gandalf to put the hat on, Treebeard took it himself and placed it on his head.

"_You are not ambitious, as you said so yourself. Nor are you brave or courageous like a Gryffindor, nor a lover of knowledge like a Ravenclaw. You are loyal to the trees, and you are very, very patient. Yes, there is but one house for you and that is_ HUFFLEPUFF!"

Treebeard handed the hat back to Gandalf and strode off to where he had been standing, while "Bregalad" was called.

* * *

Was there anywhere else for Treebeard?

Please, please review!


	27. Bregalad

Disclaimer: I don't own anything unhappily.

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The younger Ent strode to the front. Again, Gandalf gave the hat to Bregalad and he placed it on his head.

"_Hmmm… not ambitious… nor do you seek knowledge. I would say Hufflepuff due to your loyalty, but you are very brave and hasty, so to speak. You can be impatient. I think rather a_ GRYFFINDOR!"

Bregalad handed the hat back to Gandalf, and received a gold and red ribbon, along with a few looks of surprise around the hall. As more and more people were Sorted, everyone was getting a basic understanding of the way it worked. Not many knew Bregalad, but they thought that Gryffindor would be rather unusual for an Ent.

Bregalad returned to his place, and "Beregond" was called.

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What do you think? Was this surprising? Do you agree with the logic?

Please review!


	28. Beregond

Disclaimer: Not mine. Except possibly for the idea.

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Beregond walked up and sat down on the stool. Gandalf placed the hat on his head.

"_Definitely not Slytherin or Ravenclaw. Perhaps Gryffindor, as you are very brave, brave enough to risk death. But killing that person was in order to protect Faramir. Loyalty is what drove you to kill. Yes, definitely a_ HUFFLEPUFF!"

Beregond went back to his seat, after Gandalf handed him a gold and ebony ribbon.

"Imrahil!"

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Please, please, vote on the poll on my profile page!


	29. Imrahil

Disclaimer: Not mine. Never shall be.

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The Prince of Dol Amroth walked forth to where Gandalf was situated and allowed the wizard to place the hat on his head.

"_You are loyal to Gondor, and brave in the face of battle. Yes, bravery is one of your greatest attributes, and so marks you out to be a_ GRYFFINDOR!"

Imrahil received a gold and red ribbon, then returned to his seat, just as "Ioreth" was called.

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This one was really difficult.

Please, please vote on the poll on my profile page!


	30. Ioreth

Disclaimer: Erestor is kindly doing this for me.

Erestor: Mirlasse does not own anything of Tolkien's or Rowling's.

Hannon le, Erestor!

* * *

Ioreth stood up and walked over to Gandalf. The hat was placed on her head.

"_A healer and talker. You don't have much ambition, nor bravery. I would say either Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. But you are a seeker of knowledge, even if you do talk a lot. You are very well versed in old lore. And you want to share that knowledge with others as well. Yes, a_ RAVENCLAW!"

Ioreth handed the hat back to Gandalf, with many comments on how strange it was, and how weird that she could hear its thoughts! She returned to her seat, with a blue and bronze ribbon, to tell her friends all about it.

"Bergil!"

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A note; one reviewer said that they found it hard for some people to be in Slytherin. Slytherin is not necessarily a bad house, it just got a reputation for Dark Wizards, which these people don't know about. Desire for power, ambition, and cunning can indeed be characteristics of evil people, but one may have ambition to, say, become a doctor. Cunning can save one's life in a bad situation. Ambition in itself is not necessarily a bad thing, it's just taken too far in many cases. It's like money. Money is not bad, but sometimes people become overly greedy and worship it. So, please, don't be biased towards Slytherin. To the reviewer, this is the only way I could respond, and please don't be offended if this is too harsh.

Anyway, please review!


	31. Bergil

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Tolkien's or Rowling's.

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Bergil, son of Beregond, ran up to Gandalf, who handed the hat to him. Bergil, with a grin, placed it on his head.

"_You are reckless and impetuous. Not difficult, I think you are a Gryffindor. You are brave, and will stand up for what you think is right. And you are willing to fight, and you refused to leave the City. Yes, you really are a_ GRYFFINDOR!"

Bergil ran back to his seat.

"Bilbo Baggins!"

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Please, please review!


	32. Bilbo

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own anything.

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"Bilbo?" Frodo repeated, looking bemused. Suddenly a figure off in a corner stood up and removed its hood.

"Bilbo!" Frodo ran over and gave Bilbo a hug. Cheers and claps resounded around the hall. Aragorn was grinning and Gandalf had a smile on his face.

"When did you come?" asked Frodo.

"With the last of the Elves, with Lindir and Erestor. We took it slowly," Bilbo replied.

Gandalf called Bilbo over to the hat again. Bilbo tottered up, an anxious Frodo right behind him. Gandalf placed the hat on Bilbo's head.

"_Well, you love good food and comfort, just like all hobbits. You are very loyal to Gandalf and Rivendell. Yet you wanted to see the outside world. You were adventurous. And you were very brave with the spiders, Wood-elves, Smaug, and the battle of Five Armies. You wanted peace, though. You wanted Thorin to stop arguing and you wanted to avoid bloodshed. Either Gryffindor or Hufflepuff would work for you, but I really think…_ GRYFFINDOR!"

With a smile Bilbo handed the hat back to Gandalf, and Frodo guided him to a seat next to the other hobbits.

"Well? Did you write your book yet?"

"Radagast!"

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Please vote on the poll on my profile! And review as well!


	33. Radagast

Disclaimer: Lindir has been bribed to do this with lots of strawberries...

Lindir: Mirlasse does not own anything of Tolkien's or Rowling's. Where are my strawberries?

Here they are...

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Radagast the Brown came up and sat down on the stool. Gandalf then placed the hat on his head.

"_You are gentle, patient, and kind. You take care of the lesser creatures. You obeyed Yavanna and came to Middle-earth. Despite not truly fulfilling your task set by Manwe, you carried it out in your own way. I would say either Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw for your extensive knowledge and love of learning. But overall…_ HUFFLEPUFF!"

Radagast took a bow and returned to his seat with a gold and black ribbon.

"The Queen Arwen!"

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This one was difficult. Tolkien does say that Radagast did not fulfill his original task set by the Valar, at least he didn't accomplish it in the same way as Gandalf. And what other house - besides possibly Ravenclaw, but I don't think that's likely - could he have gone in?

Please review!


	34. Arwen

Disclaimer: Not mine. Never will be.

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The Queen of Gondor swept to where Gandalf stood, the hat in his hand, and gracefully sat down on the stool.

"_You do have some pride, but you lowered it for the sake of a Dunadan, even though he be the King of Gondor. And you also have great wisdom, as do all Elrond's children, and great bravery. You are not afraid of death, and are willing to die for Aragorn. However, after your mother's leaving you could not bear to stay in Rivendell for all the memories, and lived in Lothlorien instead. You are patient, kind, and you loyally waited those many years for Aragorn. I think that Hufflepuff is your best choice, yes_… HUFFLEPUFF!"

Claps and cheers echoed around the hall, and Arwen returned to her seat swiftly.

"King Elessar!" called Gandalf.

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So, Aragorn is the only one left, then there's going to be the Epilogue. Almost done! And don't worry, I'm not forgetting who you think I am...

And please, please, review!


	35. Aragorn

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Tolkien's or Rowling's.

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The King rose from his throne and strode over to where Gandalf was situated. He sat down on the stool, and Gandalf placed the hat on his head over the crown, as if he was crowning Aragorn once more.

"_You persevered through great hardships to get what you desire. And your courage and bravery are great. Even though you also are very patient and loyal to Gondor and Rivendell, and you did quest for knowledge of Gondor and its enemies and allies, there is no doubt about this_...GRYFFINDOR!"

Aragorn returned to his throne, amid cheers and applause. Then Gandalf cleared his throat.

"Doubtless, you have many questions, and now is the time for me to answer them."

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Ok, what house would have suited him like Gryffindor?

This is the second-to-last chapter. There's going to be one more, the Epilogue, which shall wrap up the story, and then we're done!

Is there anyone I missed? Besides the most obvious one?


	36. Epilogue (and Gandalf)

Disclaimer: It is not mine!

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"So, everyone has tried the hat on. Am I correct?" Gandalf asked. Everyone looked around, wondering if someone else would raise their hand. But no one did.*

"What about you?" Pippin was sitting up straightly, looking at Gandalf. Then everyone turned and looked at Gandalf. His expression was unreadable.

"Let's see you go!" called Merry.

Gandalf choked. "Me?"

"Yes, you!" said Pippin.

"Ah…" Titters and whispers rumbled through the crowd. Gandalf exchanged a glance with the grinning Aragorn and took the hat, placing it on his head.

"_Hmmm… you are loyal to Manwe. You carried out your mission. And you also are very wise as well. Bravery, of course, you possess much. But you are not the most patient. You are brave and courageous, and you sacrificed yourself for the Company, and for Lothlorien. The Balrog would have done much damage had it come to Lorien. I would say either Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, but I really think that you are_ GRYFFINDOR!"

Gandalf took the hat off and placed it back on the stool. "There. Satisfied, Peregrin?" Pippin nodded, with a grin on his face, and Gandalf continued. "Now, I know that you have wondered why in Middle-earth we are doing this. You may think it without reason, or just something for fun, or a dividing up for the King's purposes. Peregrin Took asked at the beginning why. I replied 'for fun'. I shall give you the second and more important answer now.

"You recall the Last Alliance, I am sure. Elendil Leader of the Faithful of Numenor and Gil-galad High King of Elves joined forces to defeat the menace of Sauron. Many peoples of Middle-earth were called. Forces from the Grey Havens, Rivendell, Lothlorien, Eryn Lasgalen**, Arnor, Gondor, Moria, and many other regions came to fight. Many leaders died. Oropher, Amdir, Elendil, Gil-galad himself. But the battle was won, though Isildur's stubbornness and the power of the Ring ensured that the Last Alliance's full purpose was not fulfilled.

"But it was through the uniting of many armies that Sauron was defeated. Only through the Alliance could Mordor have been attacked. Though the strength of Men is great, and it was greater then, the Men of Numenor could not have attacked Mordor and won without the support of Elves and Dwarves.

"So, to bring us back to this Sorting Hat, the reason I have done this is for a lesson. To fight against evil we often need allies. It was only through Rohan's coming that the Battle of the Pelennor was won. If Treebeard and the Ents had not stopped the orcs that had been traveling to Rohan there would have been no home left for the Rohirrim and Gondorians. If the Druedain had refused to lead the Rohirrim by old paths to Minas Tirith, the city would have been lost. Allies are essential, especially when dealing with a spirit of pure evil and hate, such as we have with Sauron.

"With these four Houses; Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Gryffindor, and Ravenclaw, each house is tightly knit in general. However, the houses are often in strife. They fight against each other. Perhaps two houses are briefly allied against one or both of the other houses. It causes friction amongst them.

"In our world there are a few examples of this. Elves and Dwarves, for example. They all too often distrust and are suspicious of each other. The Elves tell one story of the Sack of Menegroth by the Dwarves of Nogrod. The Dwarves tell another. And it is true that the Dwarves of Belegost tried to dissuade their kin from taking Menegroth as well. Elves and Dwarves have been at odds for many it seems that peace between the two races will come, when Legolas son of Thranduil brings Elves from Mirkwood and Gimli son of Gloin brings Dwarves of Erebor. Their friendship is proof of this.

"Perhaps the best example of needless separation is that of Arnor and Gondor. As you all know, after the death of Elendil, Isildur was to take over both Arnor and Gondor. However, he was killed in the Disaster of the Gladden Fields, and Valandil his youngest son became King of Arnor. But he and his descendants never claimed the Southern Kingdom, so the kingdoms of the Dunedain were split. If Gondor had been part of Arnor, then the battles waged by the evil kingdom of Angmar might never have happened, or Arnor, with reinforcements from the South, might have destroyed Angmar. When King Arvedui was hard pressed, he begged for help from Gondor. But the Gondorian fleet arrived too late for Arvedui. He had perished in the icy Bay of Forochel. If the kingdoms had remained united under the banner of one king, much would be different.

"Another example is that of the kingdom Arnor itself. After the death of King Earendur, his three sons fought amongst themselves for the leadership. Eventually they formed three separate kingdoms; Arthedain, Cardolan, and Rhudaur. Each one fell, one after another. Together, they would have remained mightier as Arnor. Again, much would be different today. The Northern Kingdom might still be standing."

People nodded, and Gandalf continued on.

"So, to come back to why we are doing this, it is to be united against evil that seeks to destroy everyone. When our allies are terrorized by evil, let us not abandon them. Eorl came to Gondor's salvation at the Battle of the Field of Celebrant, and in return he won the plains of Calenardhon. If Rohan under Theoden had not come to the Battle of the Pelennor, Minas Tirith would have been lost. Sauron would have been free to take the rest of Gondor, then Rohan, then sweep up into the Vale of Anduin and into Eriador. He wanted to take over the world, to bend it all to his rule.

"And there is another very important fact. These Houses are clearly delineated. You are in one house, and one house only. However, many people here would have done well in another house. Legolas here could have been in Gryffindor just as easily as Ravenclaw. Saruman could have done well in Slytherin as well as in Ravenclaw. You may both be a seeker of knowledge and possess great bravery in your quest for knowledge. The Houses do not allow for such greyness. Do not take this seriously. As I explained to Peregrin, it is more of something for fun here.

"The Houses are not perfect. Someone may not have any of these qualities. Or they may have all, and the Hat is forced to make a hard decision. It is true that some people clearly are designated for one house, such as Boromir or Treebeard. But most are not. They are balanced between two or more houses. You may have noticed that Gryffindor and Hufflepuff are often much alike for one, and the same for Slytherin and Ravenclaw. This Sorting Hat is not infallible. There are many more types of personalities than these four Houses.

"So from this I hope you have gained a lesson or two. Now you are free to go."

Everyone stood up and there was a mass exodus out the door.

"I wonder how long that took. At any rate, it must be far past lunch now!" exclaimed a certain hobbit.

"Insatiable hobbits! But do not worry, Peregrin Took. I doubt anyone in this city would deny you a good lunch, as late as it may be. As these other hobbits." said Gandalf in return.

Pippin gave a skip and ran off to the kitchens. The other hobbits followed, more slowly.

* * *

Some time afterward the five hobbits were situated in a sunny courtyard of the city around a table, talking about the strange events of the day. On the table was several empty plates. No food was left. Pippin was leaning back in his chair, smoking his pipe, and so was Merry. Bilbo was contentedly blowing smoke rings. Sam was looking at all the flowers growing in the courtyard. Frodo was silent, staring up at the blue sky.

"Cornflowers, roses, daisies, buttercups, harebells, lavender," Sam muttered to himself.

"What did you say?" asked Merry. Sam looked up.

"The flowers. Some of them I recognize, but others I don't know. Like this one here." He pointed to one. The flowers were delicate and white, while the leaves were silvery-green and felt like velvet, not unlike sage leaves.

"That is named _mithlas_ in Sindarin, which translates to 'grey leaf'," said Legolas, entering at that moment. "It is useful for coughs for the Edain, I have heard from Ioreth, and doubtless, hobbits as well. I have always thought it strange that the Edain and hobbits fall prey so easily to sickness and death. They seem fragile at first glance. But now I know the courage and toughness of hobbits. How many Edain would have carried the Ring those many leagues? Or Elves, for that matter?"

"An Elf could have carried the Ring. But as they are more powerful and immortal, there would have been more to tempt them with. I refused to carry the Ring because I knew what it could lure me with. It would have been greater in my hands. Great indeed would have to be the will that wanted to wield the Ring for its own purposes." said Gandalf, also entering the courtyard.

Legolas nodded, and went off, presumably to find Gimli and avoid the smell of the pipeweed, no doubt. Gandalf sat down and took out his pipe as well, lighting it. They sat there, drinking up the sunshine. Frodo especially looked more relaxed than he had in the hall, indoors.

"I wonder what house Gollum would have been in," wondered Sam.

"As Smeagol, before the Ring came to him, he most likely would have been in Ravenclaw. He was inquisitive and curious, and longed to know about the secrets of the earth and mountains. But when he got the Ring his cunning was brought out. His cunning has always been great. And he had some ambition, to regain the Ring and become the master himself. The Ring devoured him so that he would have been Slytherin." Gandalf replied.

The hobbits fell silent again. Indeed, Bilbo seemed to be asleep. But no one woke the old hobbit. The sunlight crept over the courtyard, lighting up the white stones of the ground, gilding the flowers with the last light.

"Is your hat the Sorting Hat?" ventured Pippin.

"No indeed, though it does resemble it. My hat was lost in the depths of Khazad-dum, and the Lady Galadriel had no similar hat for me in Lorien. But my hat smelt of pipeweed, and this Sorting Hat most assuredly does not."

Suddenly a young boy rushed into the courtyard. Pippin rose up. "Bergil! How are you?"

But Bergil had more pressing matters on his mind at the moment. "The Sorting Hat's disappeared!"

Gandalf looked up. "It has gone back to its own world. Do not fear for it."

"Do you suppose we'll ever see it again?"

"Perhaps, Meriadoc, perhaps."

* * *

Meanwhile, in a dusty office in a world far, far away, the Sorting Hat was hanging on a hook next to a cloak. A bright golden-red bird with very long tail feathers was perched on a bookshelf, and the only sound was the whirring of many curious, intricate instruments that seemed to be made of silver. Many portraits of slumbering people hung on the walls.

Suddenly, without warning, the door opened and an old man walked in. He had a long white beard, was dressed in long robes, and half-moon spectacles, through which piercing blue eyes twinkled, perched on his nose. He seemed a little weary, tired perhaps. The man hung his cloak on a peg, then noticed the Sorting Hat. With a smile, he took the hat and walked over to his desk. He sat in the chair and placed the hat before him.

"Well?"

The Sorting Hat rose up. "That world was rather interesting. Luckily, a wizard there figured out how I work almost immediately. I Sorted many people there."

"Did they learn the lesson?"

"Oh, yes, indeed. The wizard spoke afterwards about being united and allies and everything. He was very wise. But he said that I was fallible! The nerve!"

The man chuckled. "Don't you mind. Now, are you ready for another assignment?"

"Yes, indeed. Where now?"

The man took a wand from his robes and twirled it in midair in front of him, muttering strange words in a foreign tongue. After some time the air in front of him seemed to be distorting weirdly, like curved glass, in the shape of a circle almost. Finally he picked up the Sorting Hat.

"You are going to the world of Narnia now." As the Sorting Hat nodded in affirmation the man put the hat through the distorted air and the hat immediately disappeared.

* * *

*Yes, yes, I know there are some I missed… see below.

** Mirkwood. The news of the battles there and the renaming of Mirkwood to Eryn Lasgalen would have come to Minas Tirith by this point.

So, this is the end. Thank you for staying with me this whole time! There may be chapters added for people who I have missed later on.

**Note:**

You are probably wondering about the views that Gandalf states here. That is one of the problems with Hogwarts, the houses are all too often conflicted so that they cannot join to present a united front. The best example is that of the Triwizard Tournament, when there is friction between the houses about who is going to be their champion. Hermione points this out in one of the books, which book I forget.

And certainly I will not deny that there are parallels that can be drawn between this and our modern world. America should not abandon Israel because of those people who want Israel to be completely wiped from the map, for example.

There is a difference here, and that is that Sauron is pure evil, and cannot be anything else. There is no possibility that a real, true peace can be made with Sauron.

Sometimes peace can be made with dictators, but it is not always possible. Dictators want to conquer the world by force and make everyone to kneel to them, force everyone to believe what the dictator believes.

And we must remember that war is awful. Tolkien himself hated war. But sometimes war is inevitable. There is no way around it, both in Middle-earth and our Planet Earth. Compromise and negotiations will only get one so far, and with people that want to completely annihilate America and our allies, there is barely any room for negotiating. If someone completely wants to murder you and your friends and family, trying to talk them out of it does not work most of the time.

So, that's my personal opinion.

And yes, I am a proud American.

There are some people who I have missed, that could have been put in; Lothiriel, Amrothos, Gildor Inglorion, Halbarad, and Galdor, among others. Later on if I am motivated enough I will add them to the story with their own chapters. No, Thranduil and Sauron will not be Sorted. Thanks to Samuel La Flame for pointing out Lothiriel and Halbarad. And thanks to everyone who followed, reviewed, and favorited this story!

Did you like the ending? What do you think of the story as a whole? Gandalf's Sorting? Please, just one more review… it's so quick and simple to press that button!

And in case you are wondering, I am a Ravenclaw.


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